Let me take you down because I'm going to...1994!

Ahh, Troy Dyer. Didn't you just LOVE him?? Brooding, grungy AND played guitar.

**In accordance with the This American Life challenge I proposed to myself, the next topic on the list is Vacations…




The year was 1994. I traveled to Iowa for a week to see my cousin and stay at her new apartment (which was only a block away from her parent’s home) and celebrate her new found freedom. When I was younger, we (my mom and I) never went on “family” vacations so I traveled to Iowa every summer to visit my two cousins, we’ll call them Meg and Amy, and though I enjoyed staying at my aunt and uncle’s house, when Meg got her own apartment, I was beyond excited to be her roommate for a week.

Of course the first thing we did was decide we were going to get some alcohol. Meg’s boyfriend was old enough to buy so we had that covered. Amy had already picked up some smokes, no more having to sneak puffs in her closet at her parent’s home (which we almost got caught doing during my previous visit).
The movie Reality Bites just came out on VHS. (Remember when Winona Ryder was in every other movie that came out??) Booze, cigs, movies – we were set, almost…what a about boys?? On a previous visit, I had met a couple boys my cousin Amy went to school with. She’d mail me pics of them along with updates on their relationship status and which information she’d shared about me with them. For me, being 16 and boy crazy, the ‘party’ we planned was not complete without the company of boys.

I cannot recall how we ended up meeting up with one of the boys, we’ll call him John, but we were quick to tell him about Meg’s new apartment and “we’re getting beer and you should come over, blah, blah, blah” and he showed up later with a few friends. The things I remember about that night are as follows: we all drank and smoked, Amy had one too many cigs, one too many beers and ended up getting sick and walking back to her parent’s home, John and his friends left, I stayed up late into the night talking with Meg’s friend Shawn, who I also had a crush on even though I knew he was gay, and he told me a series of books he had just started reading by Anne Rice (the first being Interview with a Vampire).

The next night, Meg decided she would stay at her boyfriends place, Amy was sick with a hang over, and I had the apartment to myself. John had mentioned the night before that we should hang out again before I left so he and his friends came over and picked me up. We went to someone’s house and drank, then back to Meg’s apartment to drink some more. His friends left and John and I stayed up talking (and making out) and listening to music, talking about music, making out to music. He had brought a mixed tape with (remember those?!) and I absolutely LOVED every song (most of which I’d never heard before). When he left that night, he forgot the tape. I promised myself I’d give it back if he asked for it but when he picked me up on his scooter the next day to take me to breakfast, he never mentioned the tape.

I only spoke with John one more time after that breakfast. He promised to call and/or write and he did call, once, and I cannot recall what we talked about. I kept that tape for YEARS. I would give anything to have that mixed tape back, mostly because I cannot remember all the songs on it no matter how hard I try. I just remember it was the BEST mixed tape I had ever heard. The songs, the order of the songs – genius. It’s not even that it reminds me of John at all but it reminds me of that time in my life. The 3 songs on the tape that I actually do remember are: Romeo and Juliet performed by the Indigo Girls, Wild Horses performed by The Sundays, and Strangle Little Girl by The Stranglers. Any time I hear any of these songs, I think of that time in my life.

That summer was significant because I was 16 and still figuring out who I was. When I left for vacation, my hair was down to the middle of my back, when I returned, it was cut like Winona Ryder’s in Reality Bites (5 minutes in the movie, I decided I was going to chop my hair off). I bought a copy of Interview with a Vampire and for the next year or so, read nothing but Anne Rice novels. The men in my life were Kurt Cobain (who had recently committed suicide, Shannon Hoon, Layne Stanley, and Eddie Vedder. I shopped at thrift stores and opted to spend more money on books than I did on clothes. I was a confused and aimless teenager who was about to get more confused, more aimless and go through quite the self-destructive phase.
So there you have it…I could have wrote about my trip to England during the summer of 2001, going to California with an aching in my heart once or twice, or one of the times I’ve gone to Mexico but I chose Iowa because NOBODY goes on vacation to Iowa. But when you’re 16 and living in a small town in southern Minnesota, you’re just happy to escape for a while and that trip to Iowa was one I looked forward to every summer.


This is what 1994 looks/sounds like to me:

Romeo and Juliet covered by The Indigo Girls

Wild Horses covered by The Sundays

Strange Little Girl by The Stranglers

R.I.P

The following is underlined in my copy of this book:  "People who cease to believe in God or goodness altogether still believe in the devil... Evil is always possible. And goodness is eternally difficult."

— Anne Rice (Interview with the Vampire)

‎

I Just Can't Get Enough....

I never knew I was a Wombats' fan...until I heard this song!  It's not really a "new" song as the Current has been playing it for weeks, which is years in radio life.  I don't think the shelf life is going to expire on this one though, folliers.  I imagine people dancing in their cubicles while they use their stapler as a microphone when it plays on the office radio...Now shut up and move with me!

Life in a State of Panic



"The mind is its own place and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven."

~John Milton

The first time I had a panic attack I was around eight years old.  I was staying at my aunt's house while my cousin babysat and I woke up in a panic.  I didn't understand what was happening, my heart was beating rapidly, and I felt as if I was losing control.  My cousin awoke to me flipping out and he yelled at me to stop.  I cannot recall what exactly I was saying or doing, only the feeling.  My mother worked nights at a local bar and he called her and made me get on the phone with her.  I cannot remember exactly what she said but it was something to the effect of "Knock this shit off".  Her tone suggested there was some purpose behind my outburst, as if I could control it or maybe I was seeking attention.  Eventually the moment passed and I was fine enough to fall back to sleep.

I had panic attacks various times throughout my childhood but, of course, I did not understand what was happening at the time, neither did anyone else.  It wasn't until I was in my early 20s that I starting seeing  a doctor and was diagnosed with panic disorder.  I went on medication, began seeing a therapist and a psychiatrist and got my anxiety under control for a while.  I still struggled with depression on and off during this time but this may have been due to the fact that I was finally dealing with the events of my childhood rather than running away from them. 

The signs and symptoms of panic disorder as noted on The National Institute of Mental Health website are as follows:

People with panic disorder have feelings of terror that strike suddenly and repeatedly with no warning. During a panic attack, most likely your heart will pound and you may feel sweaty, weak, faint, or dizzy. Your hands may tingle or feel numb, and you might feel flushed or chilled. You may have nausea, chest pain or smothering sensations, a sense of unreality, or fear of impending doom or loss of control.

I can honestly say that this is a perfect description.  I have felt all of these symptoms at one time or another, sometimes all at once, while having an attack and have actually gone to the emergency room a few times.  I have spent years trying to figure out why I suffer from these attacks, not wanting to accept that this is something I will have to live with for the rest of my life.  I attribute it partly to my childhood and the environment I lived in during my "formative" years.  Because I lived in a household where I was witness to alcoholism and physical violence for YEARS, it felt as if I was in a constant state of panic.  My mom lived with this man from the time I was a toddler until I was 11 years old.  So the motto "The body never forgets" seems to hold true, so much so that to this day when I am feeling anxious, I don't always feel that my home is a place of comfort just as it surely was not when I was a child.  It's a horrible feeling when you fear you may be losing control and you cannot find solitude in the place where you live.  Anxiety takes over and I resort to that scared little girl who feels she has no one to turn to.

Many of the attacks release thoughts that add to the stress of the situation.  I'm a bad mother, a bad wife.  I'm weak.  Everyone thinks I'm weak.  This will never stop.  I'm going to be like this forever.  You're probably wondering what the point of all this is other than the obvious fact that I feel, like every person that suffers from this illness, alone, isolated.  I also need to discuss this, partly because people need to know this is not something people choose but something we live with and have to learn to cope with.  I also hope that someone, anyone who reads this and can identify with what I'm saying, may not feel so alone.  I am reminded of an excerpt from Gloria Steinem's book Revolution from Within:

As Susan Sontag wrote in Illness as Metaphor, many theories of disease "assign to the luckless ill the ultimate responsibility both for falling ill and for getting well."  And we often accept this, for it gives us an illusion of control..."We humans would rather accept culpability than chaos..."

Well, I refuse to blame myself for this disorder any longer.  It is challenging enough to simply try and cope.  I know there are people that have it worse off than I do and they don't suffer from panic attacks but to think this is again my own ignorance in thinking I can control this or that I am the cause.  The ways I can try to control it are by exercising, eating healthy, taking meds when needed, surrounding myself with people that care about and support me.  These are the things I am doing and will continue to do.  People that are weakened by this disorder, and yes it is debilitating, should never be made to feel that they are a burden or not worthy of support.  If you do, you're surrounded by the wrong people.

Real Talk Quote...

Let's Get this over with, shall we?

No BIG surprise that it has been a couple months since my last post.  I had ideas for the "poultry slam" topic, I swear I did, but time got away from me again, as time always does.  I cannot say I had as many stories to offer as Episode 3 of this American Life but then again, how much can a person talk/write about poultry?  I like chicken, it tastes good.  Dark meat is my favorite.  That's all I've got.  Seriously though, my son and I did have a plan to enter the Peeps Diorama contest around Easter time.  Yes this is a real thing, see for yourself: http://twincities.upickem.net/engine/Welcome.aspx?contestid=27999.  It sounded like a fun project and would have transfered well to the poultry themed post (peeps=baby chicks).  BUT we could not agree on the theme for the diorama.  He wanted to do a scene from Thriller, I thought perhaps a scene from Harry Potter titled Harry Peeper would be more clever.  Eventually the deadline passed and we concluded that we should have created a scene from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and called it Puffy the Peep Slayer.  Instead my son wrote a story called Puffy the Peep Slayer in which the main character, Puffy, slays the evil Peeps with a toothpick.  The Peeps are evil because their sugar-coated outside is the source of tooth decay for children all over the world.  What is more evil than cavities?  We are currently looking for a publisher.

I was also going to mention the story my sister told me after she watched "Food Inc" for a health class in college.  She described a scene in which chickens were being killed and she swore you could hear them screaming "ow, ow, ow" repeatedly.  I remember thinking she was a freakin' nut job and wondering if she smoked a joint before viewing the documentary but then I watched it.  It's clear they are shrieking for obvious reasons but I know, as well as most people, that chickens can't speak so yeah, I'm pretty sure my sister was high...or her instructor was a hard core vegan who planted this thought in the minds of her impressionable class.  Although, after watching "Food Inc" I really didn't want to eat meat, of any kind, ever again.  I found I could not quit cold turkey (pun totally intended) and even though I still enjoy feasting on flesh, I feel guilty EVERY time I do now.
But seriously, folliers, this shit is messed up:

Last but not least, check out http://poultrykeeper.com/ and join other poultry enthusiasts, if that's what you're into.

Until next time, Folliers, may the fowl be with you....

In the Springtime of My Voodoo

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!
~Mark Twain

Am I turning into one of those annoying people that places a quote before EVERY post?  Maybe.  Do the titles of my posts usually reference a song some may have never heard of?  Maybe but if you don't listen to good music, that is not my fault.

This is not a post in relation to a This American Life topic.  I'm still pondering what exactly, if anything, I have to say about poultry, which is the next topic in their archives.  No folliers, this is a "because I felt the need to write" post.  Because my hope is someone somewhere enjoys the way I organize my words.

I'm feeling quite optimistic at the moment and I like it.  I like it a lot.  Perhaps it's because it's FINALLY Spring or because I'm starting a new job on Monday, April 4th or because I have the next 4 days to do things I've been putting off all Winter, such as having my dog groomed, washing my car, getting a pedicure, etc.  I'm just going to savor this moment because I'm sure, come Monday morning, I'll be a nervous wreck.  Usually the crippling fear of failure sets in EVERY time I get a new job and I doubt myself before I even begin.  Which brings me to an interesting post titled The Fun of Failure I read recently on the blog Yes and Yes. It offers a different perspective on the fear of failure and I truly felt better after reading it.  This blog is rapidly becoming one of my faves.

What other not so interesting things have I been doing since my last post?  Glad you asked (although, you may wish you hadn't).

Currently reading:


With contributors like Stephen Colbert, Nick Hornby, Will Forte and Dan Savage, you can't go wrong.












Currently obsessed with:


Yes, I know I'm about 15 years late but I started watching Buff the Vampire Slayer earlier this year and I AM HOOKED.  I like style of the creator Joss Whedon.  And I've been following the terrible acting of Sarah Michelle Gellar since she was on the TV series Swans Crossing in the early 90s.  I am just about to start season 5 of Buffy.  I have to say though, I enjoyed the first 3 seasons the most thus far.  Once they go to college (and Angel and Cordelia are gone), the show loses something.  BUT I am not a quitter and plan to watch all the way through season 7.  Then I'll probably watch the spin off show Angel too.

Not a fan of vampires, demons and the like?  Perhaps you've heard of Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, also by Joss Whedon.  It's available on Netflix and I highly recommend it.  Especially if you're a fan of Neil Patrick Harris (who isn't??).



Shopping sites I've been perusing (besides Ebay):
Lulus
ModCloth

Both offer fashion at an affordable price.  Also, here's a blog to reference for outfit ideas: What I Wore.  I absolutely loaf it.

That's all for today, Folliers...Time to start season 5!

Small-scale Sin or Something Like it...

That which we call sin in others is experiment for us.


~Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Experience," Essays, 1844


Time to blow the dust off this blog, eh? No I did not forget the challenge I presented to myself in my last entry but thanks for asking. I’ve been mulling it over since I last wrote. The topic, as decided by the This American Life archives, is small-scale sin. I’ve thought of the many angles I could “report” on this topic. Have I committed what some may believe to be “small-scale sin”? I am human, am I not? But I do not wish to incriminate myself in any way so that viewpoint was out. I tried free-writing in an attempt to answer the question “Is there such a thing as small-scale sin”? Unfortunately I began writing it on a day that I was struggling with the side effects of very little sleep and too much tea. The result was something that could very well be mistaken for a transcript of an interview with Charlie Sheen. I tried to salvage something (ANYTHING) from it but found it hard to stay on topic and not get side tracked by the issues I have with organized religion. The only part that actually pertained to the specific topic, besides the quote that precedes this entry, was the question “Who decides the scale of the sin committed?”

At last, I turned to my 7 year old son. A boy that has no formal training on the subject. A boy who, until recently, referred to any cross that he’d see as the letter “t”.  As in: “Mom, why is that lady wearing a T around her neck?” Somewhere the Religious Right is gasping (along with a few family members, I’m sure). My son is a very intelligent young man, he just hasn’t had a continued dose of bible serum pumped in him for the past 7 years and I’m okay with that. Somehow, he has still managed to learn about God through friends, reading books on the subject, television and asking his parents various questions.

Moving back to the topic: one day, on the way home from picking him up from school, I asked him if he knew what the word “sin” meant. He said he’d heard it before but wasn’t sure. I explained to him what “some people” believe it to be and the potential consequences of the sinner’s actions. He thought about it for a moment and then spoke aloud, but not to me. From the back seat I heard, “Dear God, I promise to clean my room. And also, God, I am sorry for not respecting my parents.” 

*******


Things I've enjoyed that pertain to this topic:


For your listening pleasure: This American Life: Small Scale Sin


Read it:



Both hilarious and informative











I also recommend:




Specifically, the play titled "No Exit"

New Beginnings: My American Life

Ok, so I know you’ve heard this speech from me before. Yeah, yeah, I know, it’s been almost 2 months and not a blog in sight. I am just as disappointed as you are. I cannot even tell you what I have been doing. First came the holidays, then my birthday, followed by a blur of uneventful days. I looked back at my calendar to see what I had scheduled for the month of January and this is what I found:


January 15th: Haircut – If you’re wondering where, why it’s only the best salon in Mankato – Raydiance http://www.raydiancesalon.com/

January 27th: Anniversary – yes that’s right, I put a reminder for my wedding anniversary on my calendar. This was done after I kept getting the date wrong (for some reason I kept thinking it was the 25th) and had to resort to looking at a photo album where our wedding date is engraved on the front. It’s been six years; you’d think I’d know by now. This event was celebrated at one of my fave restaurants in Mankato, Pappa George Restaurant & Bar.

January 28th: I had a reminder on my calendar to get my driver’s license renewed. This day was devastating, not only because I was reminded once again that I am getting older, but I also had to have my picture taken (my previous pic was soooo good). Do you realize how hard it is to get a good DL pic? I have since received my new one in the mail and I seriously look like a man. I had to check to make sure they didn’t actually put the letter M under Sex.

Before this turns into a page from Bridget Jones’ diary (too late), I’d like to get to the meaning of the title of this blog entry. I’ve decided I need to challenge myself more when it comes to writing. I thought starting a blog would do that but then I ran into the problem of not having much to write about. Well, friends, family, countrymen, I’ve found something that may work. Three words: This American Life. I am a HUGE fan of the radio show and of Ira Glass. As you may know, each week they choose a theme and report on stories that tie into that theme. Well I’ve decided to start a This American Life blog challenge. Challenge accepted! As of late, while I’m working I have been going through the archives and listening to past episodes on their website. My plan is to start from the first theme listed in the archives and go from there. Coincidentally, the first show is titled New Beginnings. I decided that my last blog entry could fall into that category as can this entry. I’m will try my best to have a new entry every week but would eventually like to reach a point where I’m blogging daily. We’ll see how it goes as some of the themes may prove to be a little challenging to come up with subject matter for. This is where family and friends come in as I may need to interview people for their stories if I am unable to pull from my own life.

In college I had the luxury of a professor giving me ideas and themes to ignite a writing spark. I was amazed at what came out of some very basic ideas, words, and themes. I’m hoping to recreate that with this challenge. I feel that I’ve been so busy with the day to day things that I’ve neglected the one thing I’ve been passionate about all my life: writing. I’ve made so many excuses as to why I am not doing it more that I’ve run out of excuses. I figure I can either look back and fret over all the “wrong” choices I made that have brought me to the undesirable job I am now working, or I can move forward and remind myself “it’s never too late”.

I am inspired daily by my seven year old son, whose wild imagination continues to amaze me with each story he writes and picture he draws. Even his journal entries are a delight as they enable me to see the world through his eyes.  He writes more often than I do!

Let the blogging begin…

It's that Time of Year Again...

Ugh.  Things I can be sure of this time of year: I will be swimming in a post Christmas funk, semi-dreading the end of another year in which I accomplished nothing spectacular and sweating the fact that I will soon be turning another year older.  Why oh why must it be this way?  I begin questioning all the decisions I've made in my life and wondering why, every year at this time, I seem to always feel the same way.  It's like I've spent the entire year walking a long lap only to end right where I began.  Oh sure there are a few changes.  I notice a few more wrinkles, pluck a couple gray hairs, and watch as my son grows faster than a sea monkey.  I can rarely find any accomplishments to take comfort in and the year begins covered in a sheet of melancholy (and snow). 

At the onset of my end of the year crisis, I always reach for the same book.  Whether I read it cover to cover or the occasional chapter or three, it has become an essential item to jumpstart the force that drives me.  Although it is listed under "Self-Help", an area of the book store I don't often frequent for fear someone I know may see me, it is not your ordinary self-help book (yes I have read one or two).  When I think of the term self-help, I think of the SNL character Stuart Smalley sitting in front of his mirror, telling his reflection "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me".  Daily affirmations have never worked for me, mostly because I find someway to discredit them.  That is the way my brain works.  Apparently it likes to play devil's advocate with itself.  Anway, back to the book.  It is titled Revolution from Within: A Book of Self-Esteem by Gloria Steinem.  Do not be discouraged by the title, rather, look at the authors name.  Hello, it's Gloria freakin' Steinem.  Credibility right there.

This book was first published in the early 90's and became a #1 national bestseller.  I purchased it sometime around 2001-2002 for a Women Studies class I took in college.  We were required to read some of the chapters but, at the time, I don't think I really absorbed the information.  I knew who Gloria Steinem was from readings in other Women Studies classes but at that time in my life, I was so focused on looking at the outside forces that had and were continuing to affect my life rather than analyzing myself and my own behaviors.  It wasn't until about 5 years ago that I actually read the entire book and felt that I actually learned things about myself and the people in my life.  As I said, I have read "self-help" books before, even went to therapy for a while, but this book is different.  Rather than advice, she shares stories about herself and others, history and research she has done or read about.  It's an educational and comforting read.  A book that should be required reading for everyone, women AND men. 

The reason I find myself picking it up at least once a year (if not more) is to remind myself that (to steal a quote from the book) "We create much of the outer world from within ourselves".  As weeks and months pass, I seem to lose site of this fact.  It's hard to unlearn bad habits (most of which we adopt at an early age) and to retrain your brain to take a different path every time it's faced with unforeseen obstacles.  So when I look ahead at a new year filled with the same struggles, it can be a bit daunting.  I figure the more I read the book, the more I learn and unlearn, the more likely I am to change my way of thinking so that one day, hopefully in the near future, I can feel as if I am continuing on the journey instead of reliving it.

3 Months Later....

Soooo much for my resolution to write more on my blog.  It's been 3 months...3 MONTHS!!  It feels like 3 days since my last entry.  What the hell have I been doing?  Well, let's see, I started a new job (not interesting enough to talk about), celebrated Halloween, went to two shows (Trampled by Turtles and Roma Di Luna), celebrated Thanksgiving and I am currently caught in the Christmas current and trying to keep my head above water.  I LOVE Christmas but it is exhausting and when it's over, I have to admit, it is a relief.

As I was saying, I had the pleasure of seeing Trampled by Turtles perform at the Kato Ballroom in October and it was an amazing show.  If you want to buy a CD (good x-mas gift!) that does not disappoint in any way, buy Palomino.  MY. GOD.  It is musical bliss.  I can be having the absolute worst day and all I have to do is listen to the song Victory and I am instantly elated. 


Trampled by Turtles at the Kato Ballroom



I'm not sure what the deal is with me being a drunk magnet but when I am at concert that serves alcohol, if there is an obnoxious drunk person (and there always is) they are right next to me, falling on me, stepping on my feet and spilling beer on me.  If this was a blog entry that focused soley on this show, I would have titled it Trampled by Drunk Chicks.  Luckily, half way through the show a nice young man let me take his spot by the stage so I was able to snap a few sweet shots and enjoy the show without being doused in alcohol.

In November I went to the Coffee Hag to see Roma Di Luna perform as part of the 89.3 The Current Road Trip.  The entire band was not there but Alexei and Channy Moon Casselle (the husband and wife duo that started the group) were enough to captivate the audience.  The voice that comes out of Channy seems other worldly.  It's beautiful and moving and I don't think I've heard another like it, ever.  I've been a fan ever since I heard These Tears Ain't Mine but nothing compares to seeing them perform live.  The chemistry between Alexei and Channy was apparent while they were performing and when they were answering questions and giving the crowd some background info on how they got started. 

Alexi and Channy from Roma Di Luna performing at the Coffee Hag

I was so mesmerized by Roma Di Luna's performance that after the show, I forgot to go meet Jill Riley and Steve Seel and tell them how much I adore them and the Current and how they make my mornings at work bearable.

If You're from Minnesota and it Doesn't Matter Where...

The next time you're in Minneapolis (on Hennepin in uptown to be exact) I recommend you stop by Savoy Pizza Uptown (http://www.savoyuptown.com/).  Not only do they have great food, they also sell concert tickets. One concert they have tickets for is the Titus Andronicus and Free Energy this Friday at the Triple Rock Social Club, a show I will not be attending because I live about an hour and half away and it's my last day at my job and I can't leave early and I really want to because I love Free Energy and seeing them in concert would be musical bliss.  Ah but I digress.  Savoy Uptown has the best garlic cheese bread I have EVER devoured.  I wasn't really in the mood for pizza (this almost never happens) so I tried the pesto turkey sandwich and it was delish.  I love me some pesto.  I am eager to go back and try their uptown veggie pizza (spinach, fresh tomato, artichoke, kalamata olives, feta cheese), sounds mouth watering, huh?


mmmm, cheesy bread



And since you're in the neighborhood, you should stop by Fifth Element (http://www.fifthelementonline.com/), which is less than a block away.  Peruse the hip hop, buy some t-shirts or maybe see a local celebrity, like Slug from Atmosphere.  That's right, I said Slug! (side note: not sure if I've mentioned this yet but I LOVE Atmosphere.  Their music is on constant rotation in my car, ipod and home.)  After eating at Savoy, we stopped by Fifth Element so I could pick up a Rhymesayers t-shirt and a CD or two.  There I am sorting through the CDs when I hear the door open and a familiar voice speaking, I looked up to see Slug's head poking through the door.  AND I almost fainted.  He was unloading some shoes and stood at the counter the entire time I was in the store.  I was freaking out (on the inside because I didn't want him to think/know that I am crazed fan) and I wanted to say SOMETHING but we all remember the incident at Soundset where I met him and the only thing that came out when I tried to speak was "I love you" when what I meant to say was "I love your music".  He looked at me the same way James Caan looked at Kathy Bates in Misery when she told him she was his number one fan.  In other words the "This bitch is crazy" look.  Okay so I don't really know because he was wearing sunglasses but I'm pretty sure that's what he was thinking.  So I went to the counter, paid for my t-shirt and CD and got the hell out of there before I embarrassed myself.  I'm sure it's not a rare occurrence for someone who frequents Fifth Element to run into Slug, but walking into the store that Sunday afternoon, the possibility never crossed my mind. 

One of my goals, I recently decided, is to get them to come play a show in Mankato (after all, they do give a shout out to Mankato in their song Shhh).  I don't know how I'm going to do it but it has to be done.  They recently released a new CD To All My Friends, Blood Makes The Blade Holy: The Atmosphere EP's [Explicit] (yes I already have it) and are touring right now.  They'll be playing two shows at First Ave on November 27th and 28th and the only reason I do not have tickets yet is because I cannot find anyone to go with me.  Either I need to meet people with better taste in music, or I just need new friends all together.

A New Not So Miserable Experience

As you may have heard, last week I won tickets from www.vita.mn to see the Gin Blossoms perform at the Dakota Jazz Club in Minneapolis. This was my first time seeing them live, as well as my first time dining at the Dakota Jazz Club. Overall, the experience was incredible. The age of the audience members ranged from gray hair to bleached blonde.  We were located about 5 tables from the stage and enjoyed a great performance. The size of the club provides an intimate setting and the sound of the band playing the acoustic versions of their songs made it feel as if I'd plucked them from a stage and set them in my living room. Frontman Robin Wilson, or "Bif" as he referred to himself, has an amazing voice and is welcome to sing in my living room any time. 

My only complaint, I would have liked them to perform longer (what female doesn't wish this at one time or another?). The show started at 7pm and was done by 8pm. They were performing again at 9:30 but with an hour and half of driving ahead and work the next morning, staying for the second performance was sadly not an option for me. I was elated to hear them play many of their old singles including "Til I Hear it From You" and "Hey Jealousy" but I think my favorite song of the night was "Lost Horizons".  Listening to those songs again reminded me of high school days gone by and the very next day I ordered their New Miserable Experience CD.  So if you see a red Honda Accord driving down the road and hear the song "Found Out About You" blaring through the open windows, there's a good chance it's me behind the wheel.  Oh, by the way, for all you Gin Blossoms fans, the band has a new CD titled No Chocolate Cake coming out Sept 28th and you can pre-order it on Amazon RIGHT NOW.

As for the Dakota Jazz Club, the food was pricey but about what you would expect in downtown Minneapolis.  More importantly, it was gooooood.  I started my three course meal off with Bay Scallop Seviche for the appeteaser (scallops w/ avocado, serrano chile, coriander) this was the first time I'd ever had scallops cold.  My main course was steak and fries, (what can I say, I'm a meat and potatoes gal).  The 10 oz sirloin was tender and delicious.  For dessert, Hubbell (my blog name for my husband) and I enjoyed the Black Bottom Banana Cream Pie, very yummy and highly recommended.  All in all, four thumbs up. 

Singing Hey Jealousy

If there is one thing I have concluded from this experience, it is that I NEED a new camera!!

Play it Forward

Good evening, Folliers!
For someone who LOVES to write, I haven't been doing much of that on here lately.  I plan to make more of an effort from this day forward (just like me to make mid-year resolutions).  I have a confession to make: I'm addicted to Twitter.  If I could just cut my Twitter time in half, I would have so much more time to blog.  BUT I do have to thank Twitter because if I wouldn't have been scrolling through the tweets of the 283 people, businesses, etc. that I follow, I wouldn't have won tickets to see the Gin Blossoms tomorrow night!  I also want to thank www.vita.mn because they were giving the tickets away and I won them by simply tweeting "tickets, please!"  If only everything in life could be that easy. 

I'm hoping to have a good seat so I can snap a few pics and post them on here for my 2 folliers to enjoy.  Also, they're playing at the Dakota Jazz Club (Minneapolis) and I've never been there and have always wanted to go (doubly excited).

Since we're on the subject of music, I feel the need to share the songs from my mixCD of the summer, which I cleverly titled "June 2010".  The songs (purchased off iTunes) have been on constant rotation through out the summer.  I found myself wondering if years from now, when I hear one of the songs from this mixCD, if I will think of the summer of 2010 the way I think about the summer of '93 when I hear Hey Jealousy from the Gin Blossoms.  I love that music has that power (even bad music), to pull you back to certain moments in your life (even the bad ones). 

So here's the list of songs I've been listening to a lot this summer (besides Atmosphere) and I feel you should get to know these bands (if you don't already).  I owe 89.3 The Current a HUGE thank you as well because if it wasn't for listening to that station every day, I'm not sure I would have been introduced to such amazing music.  Note: not all songs are new, as in released this year, but they are ALL good and that's what matters.

1. Free Energy by Free Energy - no this is not a misprint, the name of the song and the name of the band are one in the same.  This song reminds me of youth.  Pure and simple.  Best line:  "and I'm so disconnected, I'm never going to check back in". 

2. American Slang by the Gaslight Anthem - this band has been around for years but I hadn't heard of them until The Current started playing this song.  I was hooked.  I like some of their other songs too but THIS one is my favorite.  Also, I love Brian Fallon's voice.

3. Kick Drum Heart by the Avett Brothers - ahhhhh the Avett Brothers.  I don't think I've ever heard a song from them I don't like but this one made the cut for this mixCD. 

4. Crystalised by the XX - you know those songs you like, you can't explain why, you just do?  Well that's how I feel about this song.  Favorite line: "I'll forgive and forget, before I'm paralyzed".

5. Don't Haunt this Place by the Rural Alberta Advantage - another song about a break up, you ask?  yes and it's a good one.  I like quite a few of their songs but again, this one made the cut. 

6. Set me Free by The Heavy - you've probably heard their song How You Like Me Now on that Kia commercial but this song is better.

7. Running with the Wolves by Cloud Cult - what can I say, I'm a sucker for MN bands.  AND they make great music.  Favorite line: "I need to feel something different for just a little while".

8. The Ends by Halloween, Alaska - Since they're a Minneapolis band, I'm hoping this means I'll be seeing them play live in the near future.  Best line: "No matter what today pretends, no matter how you see the means, these are the ends".

9. Low Rising by the Swell Season - See previous post Better than Swell

10. The Cave by Mumford and Sons - this band just blows me away.  First song I ever heard by them was Little Lion Man and I fell in love.

11. These Tears Ain't Mine by Roma Di Luna - another Minneapolis group!  Supportin' local music y'all.  I missed the chance to see them perform last week and I'm still kicking myself. 

12. Setback by the Constellations - I REALLY like this band.  Their beats, their lyrics.

13. Shadow People by Dr Dog - Never heard of this band until I heard this song.  Check under music tab for further details.

That's it, Folliers.  Good night and happy listening....

Better than Swell

I have been known to spend hours on YouTube watching Damien Rice perform live at various locations.  Add too much caffeine to the mix and you will find a thirty something woman hugging her computer monitor while crying like a baby.  Years ago, when the scruffy, little Irish man came out with his song "The Blower's Daughter" I became obsessed with his voice/lyrics/music/him.  If he ever plays a concert in the states again, you can bet I'll be there. 

Enter new scruffy, little Irish man that moves me to tears: Glen Hansard from The Swell Season.  The first time I heard the song Low Rising on the radio I became an instant fan.  I should mention the other member of the group, pianist Markéta Irglová.  She is to Glen what Lisa Hannigan is to Damien Rice.  Her voice not only compliments his, but tangles with it perfectly, producing something so moving, I am blown away when I watch their live performances on YouTube.  You can feel the passion and energy that Glen Hansard exudes and the raw lyrics add to the many reasons why I adore them.

Love this performance:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFDfJsNY_2E

Who Wrote the Blog of Love?

Welcome followers (folliers)!  There are many reasons why I've started this blog, including my love for writing and giving my opinion.  Although it may appear I write under the guise of expert, I am no more knowledgeable on the following subjects than anyone else.  Maybe just a tad more obsessed.  After all, "love is merely a madness"...

Let's begin with the name of this blog, for I admit it has to do with my love of Anne Sexton (i.e. The Book of Folly) but also highlights the absurdity (some may say) of my obesessions, including but not limited to: music, books, shopping, magazines and food.

I LOVE music, listening to it, seeing it played live, discovering new music, etc.  I'll let you know who I am listening to, who I've recently discovered and maybe give an occasional review of any live music I get to experience.  Feel free to comment and give suggestions of music/bands you think I may like.

I read a lot, both fiction and non-fiction.  I've really been into memoirs and biographies for the past few years.  I don't always read the latest and greatest, just whatever I stumble upon.  I'll let you know what I'm reading and, as common courtesy, you should do the same. 

I collect (didn't want to use the word love TOO many times) clothes, shoes, purses, etc.  I am NOT, by any means, a fashionista.  Far from it.  BUT I do enjoy burying my nose in fashion mags, a scene similar to a child who studies the Christmas wishbook catalog.  I'm hoping to someday afford, at the very least, a Prada sock. Also, shopping is one of my favorite forms of exercise (along with Yoga).  The stores I frequent the most are T.J. Maxx and Ebay.  I am the every women's shopper, the bargain buyer, the clearance queen.

I appreciate a good meal, whether I cook it or dine out.  I enjoy sampling new-to-me restaurants and recipes.  Feel free to send me recipes and I may also share when I try something new.

P.S. Layout and design are subject to change.  Please be patient with me while I learn as I go...